Sports Quotient

Coach Gary Kirsten’s mantra for Indian cricketers to have sex to boost competitiveness could soon lead to the following scenarios.

Coaching academies across the country also starting sex-education classes to ensure that their wards are in top quality mental shape.

Coaches accused of molesting their pupils pleading that they were merely trying to get them mentally prepared for the action.

The BCCI sending under-performing players to a recovery program in the red-light district of Amsterdam. This could also lead to a situation of players under-performing on purpose to get more ‘sexual’ treatment.

Dressing rooms to have a new section called the ‘undressing room’.

Viagra getting banned by the ICC as an illegal performance enhancing drug.

John Buchanan’s entourage of trainers and assistant coaches getting a new addition – a stripper. Also Buchanan coaching his players to be ambidextrous - in the practise of the going solo technique.

The next IPL could be sponsored by Playboy.

The ‘Kitkat break’ getting replaced by the ‘Kamasutra break’.

Tournaments  will also have an official condom like official drink, official chewing gum and official carrier.

A Russian indulging in the favourite hobby of uber-rich Americans in the heart of the capitalist world. Wonder what the stalwarts of communist Russia would have had to say about it?

A new sports reality show is grabbing a lot of eyeballs in America. ‘Shaq Vs’ pits NBA superstar Shaquille O’Neal against top athletes from other sports at their own game. He started off by taking on NFL champions Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in football. Later duels will feature the O’Neal against the likes of Olympic swimming sensation Michael Phelps, boxing legend Oscar De La Hoya, St. Louis Cardinals slugger Albert Pujols, tennis star Serena Williams and beach volleyball Olympians Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh.

Watch Shaq in action against Phelps.

I totally love the concept and would really like to see an Indian sports channel plagiarize the concept in the near future.

But I am wondering which set of guys or gals would form the best line-up for the contest; given the need for supreme athletes who can perform well in other disciplines as well.

I think the following guys could make for a good contest.

Vijender Kumar

Yuvraj Singh

Leander Paes or Somdev Dev Varman

Baichung Bhutia or Sunil Chetri

Virdhawal Khade

Viren Rasquinha or Dilip Tirkey

Would you like to see an Indian version of ‘Shaq Vs’ ?

Because, as we saw in the case of the Serena Williams, it will just cost you a fine.

You will get a much harsher punishment in any other sport.

The Chicago Cubs baseball team in the USA have not won the World Series for a 101 years. But they just got sold for 845 million dollars. The previous highest amount paid for a baseball team was the 450 million paid for the Atlanta Braves in 2007.

But in spite of having paid a humongous amount for a franchise steeped in glorious failure and under achievement, the new owner Tom Ricketts has got himself a deal.

That because the Cubs boast of one of the largest and most loyal fan bases in American sports, which creates multiple highly lucrative revenue streams.

The Cubs can lose all they like; the fans keep coming back undeterred.

Who says it takes winning to attract more supporters?

The recruitment policy at Netflix is simple - find the most brilliant person for each and every job and pay him what he deserves and not what the HR salary manual says; and this is often more than what anyone else can pay.

The New York Yankees have a full line-up of highly paid superstars. Their wage bill is the highest in the MLB and sometimes almost double that of the team in second place. They are also the most successful team in professional baseball.

Real Madrid have a team full of Galacticos who command record-breaking transfer fees and are amongst the highest paid. The club has won the highest number of Primera Liga titles and European crowns.

Thanks to this and some of their other revolutionary HR practices, Netflix is growing at an amazing pace and could possibly become as successful as the two famous sports organizations.

I have one word of advice from them though - don’t overlook the low profile jobs.

For all their great hitters, the Yankees have struggled whenever their pitching has been weak.

Similarly Real’s attacking riches have counted for nothing whenever they have ignored their defense.

Does this mean that even the receptionist and the accountant at Netflix need to be superstars?

Kim Clijsters is one match away from completing a fairytale comeback. And I am willing to bet my mortgage that she will beat Caroline Wozniacki to complete the fairytale.

After doing so, she will join the company of Jennifer Capriati as tennis’ comeback queens.

Jennifer Capriati’s second innings in tennis, after the first foray ended in burnout, saw her win three grand slam titles. She received the 2002 ESPY for Comeback Player of the Year.

Clijsters won just one slam in her first essay and will match that haul by winning the final against Wozniacki. More importantly, she managed to get the better of both Williams sisters - something she never managed in her first stint. Clearly she is doing much better in her comeback; a la Capriati.

This gives hope to every women player who isn’t quite managing to live up to her potential. Take a few years off and then make a comeback.

You might just do a Capriati or a Clijsters